Josie Lizzio was raised in an era when children were seen and not heard. Now a mother of four children ranging in age from three to 15, she's learnt the error of that approach first-hand.
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"I used to dictate to my kids and I realised it was like bashing my head against a brick wall," she said.
The Ponds woman is not alone, with research by youth support service ReachOut Australia finding that parents of teenagers rate communication difficulties as their biggest concern, ahead of alcohol, drugs, sex and bullying.
Ms Lizzio said there are many support services for parents of babies and toddlers but it tends to dry up as children enter their teenage years.
"The expectation is parents should know what they're doing by the time their kids are in high school but in some ways it's harder," she said.
Her experience is reflected in ReachOut Australia's study involving 1100 parents of teenagers, with many saying lack of resources and fear of judgment stops them from seeking help with troublesome teens.
While primarily a service for young people, ReachOut Australia has launched a new online program to support parents of teenagers based on the findings from its research.
ReachOut Australia chief executive Jono Nicholas said parents are a pivotal part in the mental health and wellbeing of their children but often stumbled over the question of how to talk to them.
"Parents told us that they really wanted to learn how to listen to their teenagers," he said. "Many parents feel as if teenagers speak a different language."
After communication, the parents in the study cited peer pressure, school work, mental health problems, drugs and alcohol, bullying and social media as their main worries about their teenagers.
Young people also contributed to the study, advising researchers on how they would like their parents to communicate with them.
Mr Nicholas said technology had introduced a host of new concerns for parents, including sexting and trolling.
"Raising teenagers has always been complex but more so in the digital age," he said.
"Along with the traditional concerns such as alcohol, drugs, school and sex, parents are also grappling with questions about cyber bullying and mobile phone use."
For Ms Lizzio it comes down to taking the time to hear what her children want to say.
"I was brought up the old fashioned way – children should be seen and not heard," she said. "That's a load of crap. I started listening and everything turned around for the better."
