For three weeks she watched the man who had a crush on her in high school, and who at the time, had shared more than 20 years of marriage with her, about to die.

During that battle back in 2006, Linda recalls the only thing that pulled her through was complete faith in the nurses and doctors working to save her husband.

Linda always knew it was a risk to marry Gary, a man with hereditary kidney failure. 

She was at his side when his father and brother went from peritoneal to haemodialysis and then eventually pass away. 

“When we got married in 1984 they had been testing Gary's family because his father was suffering from kidney failure,” Linda said.

“That's when they found out he and his brother had the same disease. I always knew he had the disease, and that worried my dad.”

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But Linda stuck by her man, who her mother had called a blonde haired lout when she was first introduced to him.

When Gary first started battling kidney failure in 2001, he started peritoneal dialysis and went on the waiting list to receive an organ. 

Peritoneal dialysis flushes liquid in and out of your peritoneum in the abdomen, which replaces the function of a kidney. 

Fluid is introduced through a permanent tube in the abdomen every four hours throughout the day.

Because the tube is permanent, it has a high risk of getting infected.

“The doctors told me it was a record that I had lasted this long without ever getting an infection,” Gary said.

But after the Aspergillis infection, one of the most deadly, Gary would have to go onto hameodialysis.

“That type of dialysis is much harsher on the body than peritoneal,” Linda said.

“When Gary's father and brother were moved to haemo they only lasted six years.”

Those six years were not living for Gary's brother and father, confined to a machine with their families' lives revolving around caring for them.

That was the reality Gary was about to subscribe to when he went back to the Wansey Centre Dialysis Unit at Charlestown to learn how to operate and live with the haemo machine.

“I didn't make the decision to donate my kidney until he was out of the hospital,” Linda said.

While she offered before, peritoneal dialysis was going so well there was no need to take the risk.

“After going back and forth to the Wansey Centre I said you're going to have one of my kidneys,” Linda said.

“He didn't have much of a say in it.”

It wasn't until 18 months later, after countless tests and waiting for Gary to get better, that doctors said the transplant could go ahead.

While Gary was on haemo, they had nothing.

“I had to give up work and assist Gary with the dialysis at home,” Linda said.

“This was a labour of love, but it was very debilitating to us both.”

When the day finally came around, the couple felt terror mixed with relief.

“It was the only opportunity to keep Gary alive so he could see his grandkids,” she said. 

“In the psych evaluation before the operation they asked me why I was willing to donate my kidney, and said I was doing it so we could have both our lives back.”

After the operation their eldest daughter Stacey gave birth to their grandson Brecklin, and the Soper family felt like they had a new begining. 

Gary and Linda now lead happy lives in their Tuncurry unit.

Gary works as a cleaner at Lani's Holiday Island in Forster and Linda is an in-home childcare worker.

They can once again enjoy life and do things like go on holidays. 

“I didn't consider what could happen. To us it was an adventure, we looked at it positively and the thought the outcome outweighed the risk,” Linda said.

Gary said growing up on a dairy farm in Scone made him tough, which gave him the ability to survive the kidney disease.

He also said this was just one trial he and his wife had lived through.

“We have been through some tough times, she's my rock,” Gary said.

“If the shoe was on the other foot, I would do the same for Linda.”

While Gary spent about five years on the waiting list for a transplant, Westmead Hospital renal medicine director Jeremy Chapman said unfortunately that was the reality back then.

“Now we are getting higher acceptance rates of consent,” Prof Chapman said.

However, he said there are about 1200 people on the waiting list today, and many could expect to wait for years for a transplant like Gary did.

What Gary and Linda want to achieve from their story is for people to realise the heartache hundreds experience waiting on the list for a kidney donor. 

Only about five million Australians have registered to become donors when they die.

“More people need to talk to their families to make it clear that if they die or are in an intensive care unit they want to donate organs,” Prof Chapman said.

“Make it very clear.”

If you want to become a donor, go to: www.donatelife.gov.au

This story first appeared in the January edition of Mid North Coast Now magazine. Copies of the magazine are available at the Great Lakes Advocate office at 41 Helen Street, Forster or follow this link.